Aisoku : Beloved Son
by Bluewater
Summary: To protect a witness, Horatio and Ryan endure agony in the hands of their captors. During the experience, Horatio becomes fatherly protect over Ryan and Ryan struggles to earn Horatio's respect. Father/son relationship. Major agony and violence.
1. Prologue

A/n: _**Story will contain mild use of language, major agony and violence, suggested rape and adult-theme. The story is not for those who are easily offended, **__**fainted hearts**__** and young children. **_

Let there be no surprises

Prologue

It was not suppose to be like this…

"Ryan?! Don't close your eyes! Focus on my voice, think about the first thing you are going to do when we get out of this place."

Ryan chuckled at Horatio's proposal as more blood dripped down the corner of his mouth.

All Ryan wanted to do right now was to cry. Maybe if he cried enough, the pain would go away. For the past few days, he had held back tears and screams, but he was at a threshold now. He didn't want to disappoint Horatio or give them the satisfaction that he has been broken. But it's near impossible not to shear any tears now. The torture and the mind-games that they have been playing with him were too painful to withstand. There was no stopping the tears. Ryan buried his head in Horatio's lap as his fragile body shook with sobs. He didn't want Horatio to see him like this. He knew that the next time they come, Horatio would not hesitate to tell them the girl's location. If that happened, everything they have worked for would be for nothing.

Horatio tightened his hold on Ryan as his young agent let out a soft whimper. The embrace was the only comfort that he could provide for Ryan. Even his body heat could no longer keep him warm. He had watch Ryan's life and sprit slowly broke down. The physical contact he gave was a lifeline for Ryan and perhaps the only thing that was keeping Ryan sane.

Ryan lifted his head up from Horatio's lap, looked at him with pleading eyes and begged, "Kill me…please…"

_We have been through so many battles, but you never let me look at your scars_

_How many tears have you shed under the stars?_

_While I hold you tonight in this abandoned battlefield _

_You have let go anything that will heal. _


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

A/N: The story is written in a backward recollection format. The story has alterative chapters of recalling what happened a week ago and what is happening right now.

Thank you for the reviews! Next installment will be up later tonight.

7 days ago…

"Lieutenant Caine!"

"My name is Kevin Rouge and I am with the FBI."

"Mr. Rogue, what can I do for you?" Horatio asked and took of his sunglass.

It was a standoff that looked like a scene right out of a TV crime drama. Kevin Rogue, a fine-looking gentleman, with black tie and suit has just charged into Miami-Dade Police Department with four other guys that look identical in attire right behind him.

It was your typical Monday for CSI Lieutenant Horatio Caine. He was just about to head down to talk to Dr Tom Loman about the new body that was bought in last night. But that has just got interrupted by his new guests.

"Lieutenant Caine, we need one of your witnesses, Laura Day, she is now on the witnesses' protection program and I have been assigned to look after her." Kevin informed Horatio.

"Mr. Rogue, she is my current case's important witness and we are not done talking to her. She knows something that she is not telling me." Horatio said.

"And that is exactly why she is on the program. Lieutenant, she is involved in something bigger than you can understand. We need to take over." Kevin has used his usual no-comprising tone of voice. When he used that tone in the FBI, it meant that there was no space for argument.

But today, that was not going to be the case.

"Mr. Rogue, when you are ready to tell me what this "bigger than you can understand "thing is, you can come back for the girl. Until then, I don't need to show you where the door is." Horatio said and turned around to walk away.

"Lieutenant Cain!"

"I don't think you understand; this is a FBI case. If we have to use force, I will. So please don't make this any harder than it is." Kevin warned.

"Mr. Rogue, this is Miami-Dade Police Department, not FBI Headquarter. If you want to see how many of **MY **men will stand up against you then be my guest." Horatio said without any hesitation in his voice. Horatio had focused his attention on the agents and faced him without any hint of fear.

Eric noticed the attention around Horatio. Even thou he didn't know the situation; he did know that Horatio need his team behind him.

"H, what's the problem?" Eric stood behind Horatio with his hand on his gun.

Kevin noticed that more people were aware of them. Frank was standing by the door and ready to jump them any second. A few offices had gotten up from their desk and looked toward their direction.

"Hey do you guys drive a black Suburban?" Ryan ran up behind Kevin and asked.

Kevin turned around and said "Yea, why?"

"Cuz, its getting toll right now!" Ryan answered.

Ryan winked at Horatio and Eric.

Eric smiled and understood that Ryan must have called the repo man and had their car tolled.

"What'd!!" Kevin cursed and ran pass Ryan with his keys. The other agents also followed Kevin's pace.

"Caine!! I will be back!" Kevin warned as he pushed open the door.

"And I will be ready." Horatio answered with absolute certainty.

* * *

Preview of chapter 2-

7 minutes ago…

_Horatio gently rocked Ryan back and forth, like a mother would do to her child. He whispered words of comfort and tried to provide whatever body heat he had. _

_A tiny tear slide down Horatio's face and dropped on Ryan's forehead. Ryan turned his head and looked up at Horatio. This was a moment of rarity. Ryan never remembered seeming Horatio shed any tears. Not even when Eric was in the Hospital. He was always cool and calmed and most importantly in control of all emotions._

"_Am I dying?" Ryan knew it was a stupid question, but he asked anyway. Off-course he was dying. _

* * *

"_**Mr. Wolfe, at the end of the day, if we don't hang together, we'll die alone"- Horatio Caine (Sunblock Season 6.6)**_


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Violence and Agony in this chapter. **

**I appreciate all the reviews! **

**FYI: I couldn't find Ryan's birthday, so I use Jonathan Togo's birthday, August 25****th****, 1977, in replaced. **

* * *

7 minutes ago…

"Caine, your little toy has lasted quite some time. I am impressed to say the least. But unfortunately I still don't have the information I want it. And I am running out of time. Let this be my final ultimatum. I give you 10 minutes to think it through. Either you give us the _Right_ information or we peel your agent's skin right off and you can be sure he will die painfully. Think it through Caine!"

The man walked over to Ryan, untied him and dragged him over to Horatio. He signaled for his men that were holding Horatio by the shoulder to let go.

"Out!" The man motioned for his men to leave with him.

"10 minutes Caine! The information or you get a wolf's skin to take home."

The door closed with a loud bang and Horatio inched forward toward Ryan. Even though they didn't bind his hands, the chains that were attached to his ankles were enough to restrict his movement.

"Ryan…Ryan…" He softly called out to the young agent and carefully wiped the blood off Ryan's lips. Ryan stirred at his name. It was the sweetest sound to his ears. For the past few days, Horatio's voice had been the only thing that reminded him of why he was fighting. When they were beating him, cursing at him and tormenting him, Horatio's voice has been a reminder of why he refused to give-in and struggled not to scream. It was that voice that reminded him he was not alone.

Horatio gently touched Ryan's hand to let him know that he's here and Ryan opened his eyes at the contact. Pain clearly showed thought those beautiful eyes. Even though they were blood-shot from the lack of sleep and pain; they still had power behind them.

"I'm ok 'H'" Ryan whispered. Even though that was a complete lie, Ryan tried his best to reassure Horatio. After all that and more, his first thought was his boss. Ryan understood that no matter what they did to him, everything was all physical. Horatio on the other hand had to endure the sorrow that he couldn't stop this torture.

Horatio smiled at Ryan and said "It's ok to cry Ryan, they are gone." He carefully lifted Ryan's head into his lap and tried to provide as much body heat as possible. Ryan now risked the chance of going into shock.

The movement caused Ryan's lower body to ach and then everything came back to him. Ryan remembered what happened. He tried to push himself away from Horatio and wanted to get away as far as possible.

Horatio sensed the movement and instantly knew what Ryan was thinking.

"Ryan, please don't move, it will make it worst." Horatio gently tightened his hold on Ryan. He didn't want to hurt him anymore, but Ryan has started to pull himself into a ball and away from Horatio. Ryan needed the body heat and most importantly the human contact to let him know that he was not alone.

However, Ryan wasn't listening to Horatio at all. All he could think about was what has happened.

Horatio cupped Ryan's head so that he was now looking at Horatio.

"Ryan." Coaxed Horatio. "Son, listen to me, I am not going to hurt you. Let me take care of you please."

The word Son got Ryan's attention. It was a word that Horatio never used on Ryan. It was a word that was reserved for Eric and Kyle. The warmth and the comfort that the word bought for Ryan was beyond his description.

"Ryan, let me hold you please. There is nothing to be ashamed of. I am here and I promise you, they will not lay a hand on you _ever_." Horatio promised.

Ryan looked at Horatio with the most trusting eyes. It didn't matter if Horatio could honor that promise or not. Right now, Ryan entrusted everything to him.

Horatio saw the blood gathered under Ryan and knew he had to do something. It wasn't going to be easy, but Ryan would bleed to death before the 10 minutes were up.

"Ryan, look at me, do you trust me?" Horatio asked with a parent-like tone when they asked their children.

Ryan slowly nodded

"You are still bleeding heavily, I need to stop it." Horatio explained.

The full realization hit Ryan and panic began to set in. Horatio saw this and his heart wrenched with grief.

"Ryan, Son, I promise I will not hurt you, trust me." Horatio reassured Ryan.

Ryan nodded again and closed his eyes. He tightened his hold on Horatio's shirt and whispered softly

"_I trust you_."

Horatio took that as a sign and shifted slightly to grab a towel the men used as a gag on Horatio when he tried to call out to Ryan through the torture.

Horatio turned Ryan carefully to his side and instantly saw the damage.

The flesh around the entrance was torn and blood flowed freely down the side of Ryan's legs. Horatio cautiously wiped the blood around the entrance and Ryan jumped violently as the cold fabric touched his already mutilated flesh.

Horatio noticed Ryan's breathing has accelerated and his whole body shook with terror. He repeatedly stroked Ryan's brow with his other free hand and spoke softly to him.

"Son, just concentrate on my voice and clear your mind, deep breath, one at a time."

"When we get out of here, I am going to treat you to the best steak you ever had. Then we are going to see a baseball game and throw a party to celebrate your birthday." Horatio tried to offer something for Ryan to hold on to.

"You…you remember…? A bear whisper escaped Ryan.

"Yes, August 25th, you will be 33 this year." Horatio answered Ryan.

Tears threatened to escape Ryan's already moistened eyes. He couldn't believe Horatio remember, most of all, he couldn't believe Horatio knew the exact date and the age he would be turning. He felt enormously overwhelmed by this simple act.

Everything they said to him was wrong! Horatio cared about him, right now, before and always has cared about him.

Even his own parents had trouble remembering his exact birthday.

Ryan moved even closed into Horatio's embrace and settled down.

Horatio gently tugged the towel in between his flesh to stop the bleeding. The flow has slowed down a bit, but Horatio could already see infection setting in. The material they used on him had damaged his flesh greatly and it wasn't anything clean.

Horatio gently rocked Ryan back and forth, like a mother would do to her child. He whispered words of comfort and tried to provide whatever body heat he had.

A tiny tear slide down Horatio's face and dropped on Ryan's forehead. Ryan turned his head land looked up at Horatio. This was a moment of rarity. Ryan never remembered ever seeming Horatio shed any tears. Not even when Eric was in the Hospital. He was always cool and calmed and most importantly in control of all emotions.

"Am I dying?" Ryan knew it was a stupid question, but he asked anyway. Off-course he was dying.

"**NO!** No Ryan, you will not die. Not when I am holding on to you. I promise we will celebrate your 33rd birthday. You will not die here." The statement was more of a reassurance for Horatio than Ryan.

It was then that Ryan realized they had broken Horatio Caine. They have brutally breached his body, but they violated Horatio's sprit. Whatever honor, principle, and pride that Horatio had, he was ready to throw those all out the door to save Ryan. 4 days, that was all they needed to truly hurt Horatio.

As Ryan laid there on Horatio's lap, he felt Horatio's inhaled deeply. It was a sign that he was ready to admit defeat.

There was no stopping the tears. Ryan buried his head in Horatio's lap as his fragile body shook with sobs. He didn't want Horatio to see him like this. He knew that the next time they come, Horatio would not hesitate to tell them the girl's location.

However Ryan would die to protect his boss's pride.

Ryan lifted his head up from Horatio's lap, looked at him with pleading eyes and begged, "_Kill me…please…_"

* * *

Preview of Chapter 3

6 days ago…

"Stetler, this is Young. It is about Horatio Caine."

* * *

" O good Horatio, what a wounded name,

Things standing thus unknown, shall live behind me!

If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart

Absent thee from felicity awhile,

And in this harsh world draw thy breath in pain,

To tell my story. . .

O, I die, Horatio; "

Shakespeare's Hamlet (V, ii)

Horatio is Hamlet's good friend in Shakespeare's story. When Hamlet was dying, he asked Horatio to tell his story to the world.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

6 days ago…

When Kevin reported the situation to his boss Sam Young, he knew he had crossed path with Horatio Caine. It wasn't like Horatio was any celebrity in the FBI office in Miami. He was more like a thorn. People that cross path with the Lieutenant knew he wasn't one to mess with. Not only did Horatio give out this unspeakable energy and power, the FBI often needed his knowledge with their operations. Horatio knew Miami like his own backyard. Every corner, every criminal organization, every inch of this city were very familiar to Horatio.

"Alright Kevin, I will see what I can do about the car and Horatio." Sam Young sighed as he looked over his daily schedule. He didn't want to call in favorites, but with Horatio Caine, he couldn't just go there and threatening him with a FBI badge.

After Kevin walked out of his office, Young picked up the phone and called his former classmate from the academy, Rick Stetler. Young and Stetler were not buddies, but Stetler owed Young a favorite. Back in the days when Stetler was still in the academy with Young, he ran into some trouble when he lost a training gun. It was Young that helped Stetler initially covered-up the incident and later found the gun. It was time to call back this favorite.

"Stetler, this is Young. It is about Horatio Caine."

* * *

_IAB Sergeant Rick Stetler_: " 'H'. You see, that could be interpreted as a lack of respect for a superior."  
_Lieutenant Horatio Caine_: "You know, I am willing to take that chance."

-Innocent (Season 2.24)


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: This chapter is rated a little a bit toward the mature side. Please be warned that the following chapter contains major agony, torture and implied rape. **

**Thank you so much for all the reviews. **

* * *

Chapter 4

6 hours ago…

"Lieutenant Caine, it seemed that the address you have provided for us was wrong and a delay tactic. I am not very happy with that."

The men have been torturing Ryan for 3 days straight and Horatio needed something, anything to stop the torment.

"I am going to show you what happens when you pissed me off."

The man gestured for the two men behind him to take Ryan from Horatio's grasp. Two other men held Horatio's arm and shoulder back as Horatio watched helplessly

The men grabbed Ryan as he desperately intertwined his fingers with Horatio's. However, neither had any strength left to fight the men that were separating them. Finally Horatio felt Ryan's finger tips slide through this hand. This was a moment of desperation for Horatio, a state that was practically unknown to everyone who knew the Lieutenant.

Ryan was dragged to the middle of the room by his shoulders and dumped on the ground. It was disheartening to watch them handle Ryan like he was nothing.

His breathing quickened and his bruised ribs expanded and contracted painfully. Ryan knew the torture would continue. He twisted slightly and tried to curl into a fetal position. There was no need to hold Ryan down. The damages from the previous sessions were enough to keep him from struggling. Every fiber and nerve in his body was throbbing. He didn't even have enough strength left to crawl, not to mention run.

His face was contorted with pain. But he didn't let a slightest noise escape him. He wasn't going to scream no matter what. He only focused on Horatio's eye and that was going to be his lifeline.

"Strip him." It was a command that took Ryan by surprise. In the last 3 days, he was beaten, tormented, burned, hit, but never striped. Being naked in front of his boss was not something Ryan wanted to happen. This also gave him a sense of vulnerability.

"Caine, humiliation is a human-beings worst nightmare. Your agent is strong against physical pain, but let see how long he last when I humiliate him." The men's voice had a tiny bit of pleasure in it. It seemed like he was looking forward to this.

He put on some latex glove and kneed in front of Ryan and said "whenever you want us to stop just beg your boss to tell us the information."

"Go screw yourself!" Ryan spited at the man.

"mhmm interesting…tie and spread him." The instruction frightened Ryan. He didn't know what was to come and he didn't want to think about it. Ryan couldn't see Horatio anymore, but he knew that Horatio could clearly see him, every part of him. He was lying flat on his back and eyes looking at the ceiling. His hand was tied above him and his legs were spread wide apart and tied to some pillar in the room. He gasped for air as his ribs were stretched. He couldn't move an inch in any direction. He felt intense agony all over his body. His broken toes were crying out against the bond. His burned skin areas still ached even though they have showed signs of healing.

"Ah Mr. Wolfe, it looks like you are a pure maiden. You have never been touched. It is so hard to find such rarity in my world." The man said as he stroked Ryan's entrance.

Ryan was terrified. No one has ever touched him like this or even come close to it. He wouldn't even let a doctor do it.

"Mr. Wolfe, isn't that what Horatio calls you." The man said as he looked at Horatio.

Horatio came to full realization as what was about to happen. He was beyond furious. Horatio wrestled against the men that were holding him as he struggled for a chance to protect Ryan.

"How does it feel to watch this, Caine? He is one of your own and you have the honor of watching me break his pureness."

Horatio glared at them and his blue eyes gleamed with fury and the promise of retribution.

And without a warning, the man buried his fingers deep inside Ryan.

Ryan bite down on his lips as his body was violated. Blood dipped down the side of his legs and the pain was so intense that he felt like he was going to die then. But the worst was yet to come.

"When you are ready for us to stop, Mr. Wolfe, just beg your boss." The man repeated his earlier statement.

"Never!" The word echoed through the room and was filled with such determination.

He was pissed. Never had anyone lasted his torture for this long. The effective methods of physical and mental torments were mean to break the captive in less than 24 hours. But Ryan Wolfe has lasted more than 3 days.

He grabbed the device right next to him and in one swift movement thrust the device into Ryan's entrance.

There was no way to swallow the scream. Ryan didn't know he was even screaming until he felt the device left his body. Blood gushed down and pooled the ground beneath him. Ryan's scream was cut short as he choked on his own blood from when he bit his lips and his own saliva. His body pulled at the restraints as he tried to escape the pain.

Horatio couldn't see what was thrust into Ryan, but Ryan's scream filled the whole room. It was so agonizing to bear it that the men holding Horatio shivered a little.

"STOP! Enough!" Horatio's commanding voice draw the attention of the man next to Ryan.

"Wasn't beautiful to watch Lieutenant, the scream is like music to my ears." The man turned around to stare at Horatio with the device still in his hand. Blood from the device dipped down to the ground.

It was _the pear_. The pear wasn't even open, but the device was a frightening tool to stare at.

"You know what I like about this Caine, the pear can infect powerful amount of pain onto someone, but rarely kills them. " The men said as he walked over to a kneed Horatio.

"I am the one with the information." Horatio asked in a monotone.

"Caine, I can kill you and crop you into pieces, but you would never say a word. You would live to protect your so-call dignity. "

"However" The man leaned closer to Horatio and spoke through his teeth, "I want to break you and there is no better way to do it than to make you feel completely helpless."

The man step back from Horatio and looked at him and said "you are ready to tell us…"

"NO! 'H' Remember what you said, why we do this job. It's not for the glory, but to protect what it's important in this world. I die before I let this society waste get his hand…" Ryan didn't finish what he was going to say before he was kicked in the ribs.

Ryan coughed and more blood flowed out the corner of his mouth. As he drew another breath in, he was determined to not let Horatio tell them anything. "You filthy pig! Is that all you got!" Ryan yelled at the top of his lungs to get their attention. He was not about to let them take the only thing he can protect-Horatio's pride.

No one has ever challenged him like this before. Without ever a word, He shoved the pear into Ryan over and over as Ryan's already battled body trashed violently against his restraints. The ropes bitted into his bloodied flesh and cut the blood circulation. He felt numb, yet at the same time he could feel all the nerves in his body were on fire.

However, Ryan cursed at the man. He used every cursed word he knew.

Horatio was beyond agonizing. He called out to Ryan over and over and told him why he picked Ryan as _his CSI_ in the first place. It was more than a privilege to work with Ryan. Horatio shouted that he always believed in Ryan and even more so now.

The men had to use a towel as a gag to shut Horatio up.

The man finally had it. 3 days and no progress was enough. He abruptly turned the handle to expand the pear inside and yanked it out bluntly.

The pear torn off the skin around Ryan's entrance and it also extracted flesh from within. Blood poured from Ryan and soak the ground beneath him. Horatio saw trails of blood running in different directions. He fought against his restrains and called out to Ryan. Even though it sounded like murmured words through his gag, Ryan could still made out that Horatio was pleading for him to hang on.

Finally Ryan lost his battle against consciousness and slipped into darkness…

It was then that the man issued his ultimatum to Horatio.

* * *

Preview of Chapter 5

"…Yes, **the** Horatio Caine. Do whatever it takes." Kevin said and closed his cell phone.

* * *

"Don't cry  
Don't raise your eye  
It's only teenage wasteland" – Teenage Wasteland written by Pete Townshend. (Opening song for CSI: NY)


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: The FBI director's name that I use in this chapter is in reference to Special Agent in Charge of FBI's Miami field office, John V. Gillies. **

**Thank you for all the reviews. They keep writers' block away! **

Chapter 5

5 days ago…

"Lieutenant Caine, my pleasure to see you again." Kevin said and smirked at Horatio.

"Mr. Rogue, I can't say the same about seeing you again." Horatio said and tiled his head to look at the FBI agent.

"I assume you got the call my supervisor?" Kevin asked.

"Yes ." Horatio answered

"And my witness?" Kevin inquired.

"I have provided that information to director Gillies. You can find out from him where Ms. Day is located." Horatio informed Kevin.

Kevin laughed at Horatio and said "Lieutenant, I don't think you understand, I am the agent in charge of her safety."

"Mr. Rogue, I Don't think you Understand. My source informed me that Ms. Day was put under the program with no apparent reason. No evident has suggested that she was in danger until the FBI took a look at her." Horatio told Rogue.

"Lieutenant! What are you implying?!"Kevin demanded.

"Nothing, Mr. Rogue. Like I said, the information has been provided to Director Gillies. You can ask him directly." Horatio answered calmly in the face of Kevin's aggravation.

"Lieutenant, I think my director is way too busy to care about a witness in the program." Kevin revealed.

"I think, Mr. Rogue, Director Gillies has some question to ask you. You might want to consider talking to him." Horatio told Kevin.

Kevin Rogue clutched his hand into a fist. He knew that with Gillies' busy schedule, it would take days to just get a meeting with him and not to mention about getting the information. By then, Horatio might have figure out something else to block him from obtaining its witness.

"This is not over Caine!!" Kevin declared and walked out the Miami-Dade Police Headquarter.

*******************

"It's me. Caine has her. Yes, **the** Horatio Caine. Do whatever it takes." Kevin said and closed his cell phone

_Fin_

* * *

_Horatio__: "What's your interest in Kinkella?"_

_DHS Agent__: "That's a "need to know."_

_Horatio__: "I need to know."_

_(Going, Going, Gone, season 5.9) _

* * *

Preview of chapter 6:

58 hours ago…

Ryan nodded to Horatio and was fully prepared to die for the cause. Ryan saw something in Horatio's eyes that he hasn't seen in a very long time. It was helpless. Horatio has found justice for thousands victim and saved a thousand more from their demise. But today, he would not be able to protect one of his own.


	7. Chapter 6

A/N: Kleenex chapter. A lot of agony and tears.

Thank you for the reviews! I apologize for not updating the story sooner.

Chapter 6: 58 hours ago…

"Caine, what a pleasure." Kevin stepped forward. Horatio was bind to the wall with chains attached to his ankles that only allowed him a few inches of movement and his hand was tied behind his back with a rope.

"Kevin, I can't say the same to you."Horatio sneered at Kevin.

Kevin spited at Horatio then he walked over to Ryan and kicked him on the side. Ryan groaned at the contact and tried to curl into a ball to protect himself from the pain.

"We are done for today. Let's pick it up a few hours later." The man instructed and left with his men and Kevin.

"Mister Wolfe, are you alright?" Horatio asked at the sound of the door closing. Ryan lifted his head from the floor and looked at Horatio.

"I been better 'H'" He answered.

Other than the burns on his hands and feet, Ryan also sustained a couple bruised ribs and whip marks on his back. Because of the second degree burns on Ryan's hands and feet, he couldn't stand-up and walk.

He pushed himself onto his elbows and knees and crawled inch by inch towards Horatio.

"Mister Wolfe, don't aggravate your injury any more, just rest where you are." Horatio said.

However, Ryan didn't stop and continued to crawl towards Horatio.

"Mister Wolfe, Ryan! Ryan!" When Ryan didn't stop moving, Horatio got worried and tried to get his attention. While Mr. Wolfe has not earned him Ryan's attention, his first name certainly stopped Ryan dead in his track.

Ryan paused just two or three feet away from Horatio and looked up at his boss, who is kneeing on the ground calling him.

"Are you mad?" Ryan asked with a child-like tone.

Of all the things Ryan could have asked, this certainly was not what Horatio was expecting.

"No, off-course not. Why would you say that Mr. Wolfe. "Horatio asked quietly.

"You used my first name and when you do that, it means you are mad at me." Ryan answered with a somewhat afraid tone.

Horatio smiled at Ryan. If it was not for the situation, Horatio thought he would be talking to a child that just got caught stealing the cookie from the cookie jar.

"Ryan, I am worried about you right now. You are aggravating your injury by moving. Just rest where you are". There was nothing in Horatio's eyes but honest concern for Ryan.

"I'm fine 'H' I can untie your hands and see if we can figure out a way out of this place." Ryan said. In honesty, there was no way out. But Ryan was afraid, he was afraid to be left alone in the middle of the room and that they would come back anytime to torment him again.

Slowly Horatio watched Ryan reached him and untied the rope that was binding Horatio's hand.

"Almost got it." Ryan said as he loosened the rope around Horatio's wrists. Even though the knots weren't tie, Ryan had a difficult time undoing them. Partly was because his second degree burns on both hands were causing him a great deal of pain.

The minute the knots were untied, Horatio loosed the rope behind him and supposed Ryan by the shoulders. Ryan was completely out of energy by the time he finished freeing Horatio's hand and he fell into Horatio's embrace.

Horatio slowly shifted Ryan and laid him against his chest. When he opened Ryan's hand to look at the burns, his paternal heart broke to pieces. Red skin patches colored his palms and Blisters decorated his once smooth skins.

"I'm ok." Ryan said as he realized what Horatio was looking at.

Horatio smiled at his agent and said "you been saying that a lot."

Ryan smiled back and enjoyed the warmth of Horatio's body.

They stay like this and lost track of time. Horatio sitting on the ground with his arm protectively holding his young agent against his chest and Ryan rested on his boss's lap with his eyes closed. It was a heartwarming scene in a dark and cold room. Horatio thought about what had happened 24 hours ago and guilt overwhelm him. If Ryan had not ride with him to the crime scene, he wouldn't be here right now suffering. This was his battle, but Ryan became the victim.

Ryan tensed up at the sound of the door opening and Horatio tightened his hold on Ryan.

Kevin stood by the door with a bottle of water and two pieces of chocolate candy in his hand. He walked over to Horatio and dropped the bottle of water and the two pieces of chocolate down.

Horatio stared at Kevin with untrusting eyes.

"It's not poisoned. If we want to kill you guys, we could do it with a gun. It would be much faster" Kevin said coldly. "Unless you want Wolfe to die from dehydration, I suggest he drinks something." Without another word, Kevin walked out.

They didn't have a choice. Kevin was right. Last time that Ryan had some fluid would be yesterday or wasn't the day before? Horatio completely lost track of time. All he knew was that they have been here for way too long.

Horatio shifted Ryan up against his chest a little and reached for the bottle. He twisted open the cap and shook the agent that lied against him.

"Ryan, I have some water for you." Horatio said.

Ryan peep opened his eyes at Horatio and shook his head. "I'm ok." He said.

"Just one sips Ryan." Horatio persuaded.

"I really don't want anything 'H'" Ryan said. It was the truth. Ryan was sick to his stomach. The session earlier had left him throbbing all over and his hand and feet felt like they were still being burned.

When Horatio refused to provide any information to them, they used Ryan as a bargaining chip. At first they tortured Ryan in a separated room thinking that his screams would affect Horatio. However, when Ryan didn't scream like they had hope for, they thrown him in the same room as Horatio and for Horatio to witness everything.

When Ryan stumped into the room, he immediately locked eyes with Horatio. There was no need to exchange words, they understood each other perfectly. Too much was at stake here and Horatio was about to make an agonizing decision. He wasn't going to tell them anything no matter what happened.

Ryan nodded to Horatio and was fully prepared to die for the cause. Ryan saw something in Horatio's eyes that he hasn't seen in a very long time. It was helplessness. Horatio has found justice for thousands victim and saved a thousand more from their demise. But today, he would not be able to protect one of his own.

Ryan stared at Horatio with determination. If he was going to die, he wanted to go down in history as a hero.

Two men held Ryan straight up. His shirt was already torn off and his bare back was exposed.

It was a couple of wipe lashes onto Ryan's back at first. However, Ryan didn't even let a whisper escape. They switched to punching his ribs, but that only earned Ryan's laughter.

The man finally held a blow torch against Ryan's hand and feet as Ryan was bonded in a chair. The man was very skilled at torture techniques. He held the blow torch just at the right distance. The burning inflicted a great deal of pain, but did not completely burned Ryan's tissue. The result was second degree burn. It was the most painful category of burns. Since the tissues were not damaged, the victim would feel all the pain. Blisters would also form and create complication.

Ryan clinched his teeth together to prevent himself from screaming. If he had to choose one of the worst ways to die from, it would be being burned. He felt like his entire body was on flames.

* * *

"Just one sips Ryan." Horatio persuaded against and held the bottle against Ryan's cracked lips. Ryan reluctantly took a sip; however, the reaction was instant. He retched convulsively for the next ten minutes, but only cleared liquid come out. Horatio turned Ryan to his side as he gently rubbed his back in small circles.

When the convulsion stopped, Ryan was left gasping for air and trembling uncontrollably. He felt terribly ill and could not even keep down the smallest sip of water.

"I'm orry." Ryan apologized between gasp of air.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Mister Wolfe. Just concentrate on your breathing and don't try to talk." Horatio advised.

After Ryan's breathing evened out, Horatio gently shifted Ryan so that his head nested within his left arm. Ryan closed his eyes as the movement resulted in another wave of nausea.

"Mister Wolfe, you need to drink something. It has been at least a day since you had any fluid." Horatio said as he wiped the beads of sweat from Ryan's forehead.

"Don' feel good 'H'" Ryan answered.

Horatio thought maybe adding a taste to the water would help. He removed the wrapping from the chocolate bar and carefully poured some water onto it.

"Mister Wolfe, here, I have some chocolate for you." Horatio offered.

However, Ryan shook his head and buried his face against Horatio's chest.

"Mister Wolfe?" When Ryan didn't answer him, Horatio gently shifted Ryan so he could see his face. Ryan's eyes were closed and his face was twisted in pain.

"Ryan, talk to me." Horatio said as he smoothed Ryan's hair away from his forehead.

"M' leg" Ryan whimpered.

Horatio immediately looked down and noticed that Ryan's right leg was buckled up tight. Ryan was trying to ride out a horrible leg cramp.

Ryan was on the verge of tearing from the pain. Horatio gently shifted Ryan up a bit so that he could reach his leg. He gently massaged Ryan's lower calf and hoping that it would bring some relief for Ryan. A violent shudder suddenly ran through the young CSI and Ryan chocked up a mouthful of blood. Horatio immediately took hold of his CSI as Ryan's body shook uncontrollably.

Ryan tried to control his body, but somehow he couldn't do anything. As he lied against his boss's chest, his whole body spammed and forcefully coughed up more blood. At the peak of his misery, Ryan felt a pair of strong arms encircled him and supported his limp body. It was the arms of his boss. Against Horatio's chest, Ryan felt warmth and kindliness.

" 'H'…I…" Ryan couldn't finish his sentence as he took in another painful breath.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," Horatio interrupted. "I should be the one apologizing for getting you involved in my matters". Horatio dabbed the blood off Ryan's lips and chin with the corner of his shirt.

"Your pant." Ryan was finally able to speak after the spasms slowly let up. Ryan's blood has splattered onto his boss's navy pant.

Horatio placed his fingers under Ryan's chin and tilted his head so that their eyes met. "Don't be, my child. I have dealt with worst. It is you that I am worried about Ryan."

Ryan smiled at his boss's paternal concern. It has been a long time since Ryan felt this cherished. If this was what a parent's love feels like, it was worth whatever the sacrifice.

"Ryan, let's try to eat something, it will help you feel better." Horatio advised and broke off a piece of chocolate and carefully placed it in Ryan's mount. Ryan was completely exhausted from his earlier muscle spasm that he didn't even have the energy to swallow. He let the chocolate melted in his mouth and savored the taste.

Ryan's blood stained lips were parted slightly as Horatio placed another piece of chocolate in his mouth.

As the second piece of chocolate melted in Ryan's mouth, he looked at Horatio and whispered"Please don't leave me. Please don't leave me like he did. Please 'H'."

Horatio thought Ryan was delusion and played along, "I am here Ryan, and I am not going anywhere."

"I was 7 when he left. I already forgot what he looks like" Ryan said.

"Pardon me?" Horatio asked in confusion.

"My father…" Ryan answered and closed his eyes as images of his father's abandonment came to mind.

"I'm sorry Ryan. No child should experience what you have gone through." Horatio apologized.

"It's not your false. He made his choice." Ryan said without any emotions.

"I wish you had a better father figure in your life, Ryan. It makes all the difference." Horatio said.

"I have you."

Horatio was taken by surprise. He realized when he hired Ryan as the newest CSI, Ryan had always tried his best to impress Horatio and gain his respect. He always thought Ryan just wanted to get on his boss's good side. But Ryan actually saw Horatio as a father figure and his hard work was trying to earn Horatio's approval.

The comprehension caused Horatio to tighten his hold on _his child_.

"You have me. You will always have me, Ryan. I am so sorry Ryan, I couldn't protect you. "Horatio expressed regret.

Ryan shook his head at Horatio's apology and lifted his burned hand up to touch Horatio's chin. Horatio immediately grabbed hold of his child's hand and placed it against his heart.

Under the most dreadful condition, a surrogate father rocking his child to sleep and protecting him from death's grip.

There is nothing that can come between a parent's devotion to his child, not even death.

* * *

"If those scratches are from my son, and anything has happened to him...I will come back to this room and you will leave it in a bag." Horatio Caine (Inside Out, Season 6.3)


	8. Chapter 7

A/N: I am almost done with the story and will continue to upload the chapters at a good pace.

* * *

4 days ago…

"Eric and Calleigh, I need you guys to check out the alibi. Mr. Wolfe, you are with me." Horatio instructed.

"We are on it." Calleigh said as she pushed Eric out the door

The truth was Ryan got in an argument with Eric earlier in the day over his loyalty to the lab. Apparently, someone had leaked information about the case they were working on and Eric believed that Ryan did it for some extra cash. Ryan stared at the shadows of Calleigh and Eric. It was a moment like this that often reminded Ryan he was still an outsider to the team.

"Mister Wolfe, whenever you are ready." Horatio said as he called at a dazed Ryan.

"Oh right 'H'" Ryan said and left the building trailing his boss.

It was the first time Ryan rode with Horatio. He often went with Eric or Natalia. Ryan wanted to say something to Horatio, but he didn't know where to start. The weather or daily activity just sounded too awkward. So Ryan decided to ride in silent with Horatio.

However, just as Ryan was deep in thought about his situation with Eric, a car smashed into the passenger side. Ryan felt himself collided with the airbags as shattered glasses rained onto him. He closed his eyes and smelled the white powder from the airbag.

"Mister Wolfe! Mister Wolfe!"

Horatio was still trying to move the deflated airbags and reached Ryan when a towel was forcedly put over his mouth and nose. The second Horatio recognized the smell of chloroform; his left hand peeled at the strange hand and his right hand went to his gun.

"Draw that gun and I will make sure you never see another day." The man holding the towel said.

"Empty threat." Horatio stated and fired his weapon while it was still in the holster. The bullet hit the man's right foot and caused him to fall over and grab his foot.

Horatio pulled out his gun and fired the killing blow. The man tumbled over the side of the Hummer.

"Mister Wolfe!" Horatio fervently called out to Ryan. Although the chloroform from the towel earlier didn't knock Horatio out, he started to feel the effect of it. Horatio started to swivel on his feet and he had a hard time focusing on the situation.

"Mister Wolfe!!" Horatio called out again.

"I am afraid; Mister Wolfe is not going to be able to help you, lieutenant." And before Horatio had any chance to react, he plunged forward in the waiting arms of his attackers.

_Ryan…_was his last thought.

* * *

"When one of our own is taken we ALWAYS find our man...ALWAYS. "  
— Mac Taylor CSI:NY


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: Agony and some disturbing scenes of torture. Please be advised. **

**Thank you for the all the reviews! **

* * *

4 minutes ago…

Ryan lifted his head up from Horatio's lap, looked at him with pleading eyes and begged, "Kill me…please…"

"NO." Horatio firmly answered Ryan. "That, Mister Wolfe, is not a negotiation."

Horatio embraced the young CSI in his lap and whispered "I will not lose you, Ryan. If the price is my integrity, then so be it. But I will not lose you! Miami-Dade will not lose another CSI."

"'H'...Miami… can…can… survive without Wolfe…but…not…not…not Horatio Caine." Ryan sobbed against Horatio.

"Please…please…let it be the last thing…I do for…Miami…for, for you." Ryan gripped onto Horatio's hand tightly.

Horatio felt nauseating. For the past 3 days, he was willing to watch his CSI endured indescribable pain and only now he was ready to give-up his pride to end all of this.

"NO! Never! "Horatio screamed at some imaginary figure. Ryan tensed up at Horatio's outburst and Horatio's scream died down to a soft weeping "Please Ryan…stay with me."

Ryan lied there, too exhausted to argue. Either way, he was going to die from the blood lost soon. He was scared, but death would take all the pain away and that would be the silver lining.

Horatio's face felt wet and it took him several minutes to realize that tears were gently sloping down his face.

_Ryan…if my integrity and my life can save you from death then I have no regret. At fifty-something, you can only protect the city for so long. I leave that responsibility to you. Live, that is all I ask. _

The door opened and Kevin stepped inside with his men.

"Lieutenant, your time is up." Kevin announced

"Let him go, I need to see him safe before I say anything." Horatio responded

"Lieutenant Caine, you really do care about Wolfe and are willing to sacrifice justice for him." Kevin smiled at Horatio.

"Let him go first." Horatio tenderly laid Ryan on the ground and stood-up to face them.

"You have my personal promise not to kill him, but I need the address or else it's a bullet to his skull."

"Ryan needs medical attention now! I will provide you with the information. I need to know that you will keep your promise before I tell you guys anything." Horatio faced them without any hint of fear. It was a moment like that, which Kevin truly understood why people feared Horatio. Horatio's surrender felt like a curse had just put on Kevin. He felt he had angered gods by harming one of his creation and that the gods would punish him soon.

"Take him to the nearest hospital." Kevin said and pointed at Ryan. The man next to Kevin moved to contest, but Kevin held up a hand and stopped him.

Two men that had restrained Horatio earlier moved forward and lifted Ryan up by his shoulders and feet.

"Wait." Horatio shifted a little forward and held Ryan's hand. "Ryan…you will be ok…tell Kyle, I will miss him." Horatio said his good bye to Ryan, gently put Ryan's hand on his stomach and stepped back to let them take Ryan away.

"'H...H…" Ryan struggled against the two men lifting him, but his effort was not even noticeable.

Kevin and the other men stepped aside to let those carrying Ryan through.

"Lieutenant, the girl, where is she." Kevin asked.

Horatio took a deep breath, this was it, and it was all over.

"She doesn't exist, Kevin." Horatio answered him.

"What…??

"What the hell are you talking about?!"Kevin yelled and pulled out his gun and pointed directly at Horatio.

"Kevin, three months ago, director Gillies approached me about a leak in the FBI. Apparently, someone has been leaking information about drug busts in Miami. He wanted my help to flush the leak out because he didn't know who he can trust in the FBI. So I created the whole case about a drug dealer's death and spread the rumor that one of his clients was willing to provide us with information about a dirty cop in exchange for protection. Laure Day does not exist. I made her up to flush you out."Horatio finished up his story.

"Son of…"Kevin cursed. He was right, Horatio had flushed him out, but he didn't seal his faith. Kevin looked and Horatio and said,

"Good bye Caine."

And then all hell broke loose.

"MIAMI-DADE POLICE! DROP YOUR WEAPON! DROP IT NOW!" Eric busted through the door and grabbed the attention of everyone in there.

Before Kevin had time to react, Calleigh fired at him and the bullet found its mark on his temple.

"Don't even think about it or else you will end up like him." Calleigh warned at the other men in the room.

They held up their hands at Calleigh's intimidation.

"Horatio!" Frank followed by a few FBI agents ran toward Horatio.

"Frank, go find Ryan! They have him and he's hurt and needs help NOW!" It wasn't a request, it was an order. Frank stopped dead in his track, nodded his head and immediately ran out the room.

"Eric, search them for keys." Calleigh said when she noticed Horatio's ankles were chained to the wall.

The FBI agents and Eric pated the men for keys and at the same time confiscated their guns.

" Got it!" Eric prided at himself and walked over to free Horatio.

* * *

When Horatio said Ryan was hurt, Frank thought Ryan at worst had a bullet or two buried in him. But when Frank busted through a cranked wooden door, he found monsters inside torturing the young CSI. Without even processing, Frank shot them. He then turned and lost his lunch.

He ran as fast as he could. Later on, Frank would say the images would never leave him.

"We need…need rescues NOW! Ryan…Ryan…" Before Frank could finish, Horatio was running out the door. Calleigh and Ryan followed behind while the FBI agents cuffed the men in the room.

Horatio followed the trail of blood, _Ryan's blood,_ down a path that led to a cranked wooden door. It was the basement. He could smell Frank's lunch and held his breath as he stopped at the door and slowly pushed it open.

There, three bodies greeted him, two sustained gunshot wounds and Ryan lied behind them very still. Horatio stepped over the two bodies and kneed by Ryan. Ryan was lying on his side and with his back toward Horatio.

Calleigh and Eric busted through the door at the same and gasped. In the room were all kinds of torture devices and restraints. There was dried blood on some of the chair in the room and the floor. Calleigh carefully walked forward to check the two men's necks. She shook her head at Eric to indicate there was no pulse. Somehow Eric was glad that they were dead because he would not hesitate to finish their lives.

Horatio kneed down and laid his hand on Ryan's back and the contact stirred Ryan. But Ryan didn't turn around. Instead Horatio heard Ryan pleaded.

"Please, I beg…beg… …have a little mercy…just end this…I can't take it anymore…" It was a desperate plea of a man in extreme agony.

Ryan didn't care anymore. He was in so much pain. He just wanted it to end. He didn't care if he sounded pathetic or weak. He just wanted the misery to end.

'Ryan, Son. It's ok. I got you…" Horatio whispered gently. Right now Horatio felt like a failed parent that couldn't protect his child.

Eric walked up to Horatio and his breath caught in his chest. There, lying in pool of blood was his co-worker, the one that he recently had a fight with.

"Eric, I need your jacket." Horatio asked. Without hesitating, Eric handed Horatio his jacket.

"Ryan you are safe now, Eric and I are here." Horatio comforted and gently rolled Ryan onto his back and covered his private area with Eric's jacket.

"Oh my god."Eric let out a breath.

Calleigh, wanted to give the boys some privacy, had step outside with tears in her eyes. She didn't need to see Ryan to know what he has been through. The devices in the room were enough prove.

"Oh my god…" Eric took a step back at the scene before him. Ryan's mutilated body stared back at him. Cuts, whipped marks, bruises and burns decorated Ryan's front.

Horatio was also taken back a bit. In the few minutes that Ryan was gone, it seemed like he had turned for the worst.

"Ryan?" Horatio whispered. His eyes cracked open just barely.

""H…" Ryan murmured and his bloody lips barely moved.

"Ryan, hang in there ok, help is coming." Horatio's voice sounded surprisingly calmed.

"My…my…"Ryan didn't want to ask for help. He was already ashamed that Horatio heard him begged. But something was hurting his hand really bad.

As if the parent in Horatio already knew his child's thought, "Where does it hurt?"

Eric saw something jabbing out of Ryan's fingernails, but he didn't know what it was.

"'H' something is in his nails." Eric said.

When Horatio lifted Ryan's hand, Eric saw what it was and let out a string of curses.

Needles were inserted under Ryan's fingernails. They poked out just under the skin. When Eric turned his head sideways, he noticed all the needles casted on the ground and realization drawn-upon him. The men had been torturing Ryan with sharp needles.

Eric bended down and began to pull the needles out of his fingernails. However, when he pulled, Ryan twisted and moaned and pulled his hand away from Eric.

"Ryan, stay still, I will be done in a moment." Eric said. However, the word failed to register for Ryan.

He tried to twist away and closed his eyes as tears fell down. He didn't care anymore. He was in a sea of pain. Ryan just wanted to end.

"Ryan, Son, it will be ok, I am here and I will not leave you alone." Horatio gently smoothed Ryan's hair. He looked so fragile and delicate as if a shift in wind could break him right now. Ryan cried as tears ran down the side of face and mixed with his blood on the ground. However, he did hold still for Eric to help him.

"Eric!"Horatio said and looked at his other CSI.

"I am almost done!" Eric answered back. Eric pulled out the last of the needles under Ryan's fingernails and casted to the side.

The pain Ryan was feeling earlier turned into a dull throbbing sensation. He lied there shivering and a coughing fit seized him as he trembled against the ground.

"Calleigh! Where are those medics?!" Eric yelled out the door.

"Breath, Ryan, don't rush." Horatio founded himself once again trying to calm his young CSI. They made it this far certainly faith couldn't be this cruel and take Ryan away from this world.

Ryan grabbed hold of Horatio's hand and shifted his focus on Horatio.

"I'm…'m…ok…my…birthday…going…tomake…it…" it was a weak attempt to reassure his boss and himself.

But after two minutes, Ryan was still coughing up blood. The field medics had already entered the room and busy trying to put an oxygen mask on him.

"Possible damage to the lung, we need to get him out of here now!" One field medic directed as the other two swiftly lifted Ryan onto a gurney. They covered him with a thin sheet. However, when they tried to put straps around him, Ryan reacted violently. He was kicking and screaming.

Horatio leaned forward and held Ryan's shoulders down.

"Son, Ryan, listen, they will not hurt you, and they are here to help you. Trust me Son, I am going with you." Horatio tried to calm Ryan down to no veil. It was then that one of the medics pulled out a needle

"I am going to sedate him."

The needle worsened the situation at hand and Eric had to pin Ryan's leg down to keep him from falling from the gurney.

"Put that away NOW!" Horatio ordered. The medic was taken back a little by his commanding voice and decided it would be wise to follow his order.

"Ryan, I need you to concentrate on my voice. No matter what happens, I will not let them hurt you. Please don't fight me anymore. Ryan, Son, Son?" Maybe it was Horatio's voice or maybe Ryan lost the strength to fight, he stopped the struggle and slipped in and out of conscious. His eyes would close for one second and then dazed at nothing the next. Horatio, Eric and the medics got him up the stairs and out the prison that had held them for the past 4 days.

Just as Ryan was loaded onto the ambulance, the FBI brought the men up and into the bus that had been waiting for them.

The man who had tortured Ryan for the past few days smiled and said "I enjoyed him, Lieutenant."

"I hope you will enjoy jail because they do things in there that are far worse than anything you had done to Ryan." Horatio didn't even look at him and climbed onto the ambulance.

Ryan lied there as his eyes searched for Horatio. A warm hand took his from under the sheet and Horatio came into view.

"It's going to be ok, Ryan, I promise."

Ryan took a deep breath through the oxygen mask and slowly closed his eyes, while Horatio sat there as tears rolled down his cheeks.

The rest of the CSI watched as the ambulance speeded away with flashing lights

* * *

Ryan Wolfe fits Aristotle's definition of a tragic hero perfectly. He experienced "a change from ignorance to awareness of a bond of love or hate." – Aristotle.


	10. Chapter 9

A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! In CSI Miami, Horatio Caine is never portrayed as being religious; however, I want to explore that part. I feel that for someone who has lost so many friends and family members, he must question faith. Also Horatio's family relationship with Eric kind died off after his wife's (Eric's sister) death. I want to illustrate that Eric cares very much about Horatio as his family. Hopefully, I didn't write them too out of character.

Chapter 9-

3 hours later…

An exhausted-looking Alex greeted her formal co-workers in the lobby of the hospital. The trauma room has its fair share of ugliness, but today, Alex was particularly beat. When a blazing ambulance opened the door, she knew it was trouble. Her former boss Horatio Caine jumped out the back and with three other medics wheeled out Ryan Wolfe.

The medics were shouting codes out and before Alex could take a look at Ryan; her former boss Horatio pulled her aside. As Horatio explained to her the gruesome details of their experience, she covered her mouth and shook her head. Her baby Ryan had just been tortured. Horatio asked Alex not to participate in rescuing Ryan. It was enough that Eric and Frank had to endure looking at Ryan; Horatio didn't want Alex to experience that. Alex reluctantly agreed. However, she pushed Horatio into a trauma exam room and persuasively examined her former boss. Once Alex made sure that Horatio did not sustain any major injures, she sat by him in the waiting room.

Alex noticed there was a trail of dried tears on Horatio's cheek, but she didn't say anything. She knew he had been crying privately, but the Horatio that sat by her right now was detached.

"You are not responsible for this, sugar." Alex said after sometime.

"I am not sure anymore." Horatio answered without looking at her.

"Ryan wouldn't want you to think that way." Alex added.

Horatio smiled a little at that. Yes, she was right; Ryan wouldn't want him to think like that. But right now, blaming himself seemed to be the only thing that he can do.

'Where are you going?" Alex asked as Horatio stood up.

"To pray."

***************

"Alex!" It was Calleigh that ran up first. "How is Ryan?"

"Not good. Poor kid lost a lot of blood and the doctors are trying to repair his internal damages." Alex informed the team.

"Where is 'H?" Eric asked.

"I don't know sugar, he left an hour ago." Alex answered.

The team was very puzzled by this. Knowing Horatio, he of all people would be here.

"I will call him." Eric said.

"Wait, Eric." Calleigh stopped Eric. "Let's give him some space. Maybe Horatio needs it."

"But…"

"We really don't know what went down there. I mean by Ryan's injures, we know it was bad. Horatio is going to need some time and space to deal with all this." Calleigh reasoned.

"I want to suggest consulting, but knowing Horatio Caine, he would never go." Alex said.

Eric sighed. He remembered when Speed passed away couple years ago, Horatio refused consulting and instead worked out his problem with his then girlfriend. Eric understood the pain of not being able to protect someone. He watched his sister died before him.

"Someone needs to talk to him. I mean both him and Ryan need consulting." Natalia jumped in. Without a word, everyone looked at Eric.

Eric exhaled deeply. He knew he needed to talk to Horatio and left the group to look for his boss and friend. Ever since his sister's death, Eric meant to talk to Horatio. However, Eric knew he was not good at emotional talks. His solution to all emotional problems was beer. He knew if his sister was alive, she would be good at this.

Eric walked pass the gift shop, the café and he stopped before the chapel. The chapel's door was slightly opened and through the crack, Eric saw a red hair man standing before the cross. It was Horatio Caine. Eric was raised as a Catholic. He wasn't very religious, but he did attend church once in awhile. His mother preached about god to him and he joined the church youth group for a month. But he never knew Horatio Caine was religious. All the years that he knew Horatio, religious certainly was not Horatio Caine.

Eric slowly walked into the small chapel and stood behind his friend. He didn't say anything and want to respect Horatio.

"Eric. How can I help you?" Horatio asked without turning his back.

This was Horatio's amazing aspect. He knew his CSI by heart and could identify them blindfolded.

"Alex wants me to check on you." Eric lied. He needed something to start the conversation and telling Horatio that he needed to talk to him about emotional crap wasn't an option.

"How is Ryan?" Horatio asked.

"He…Alex said not well." Eric answered.

The two friends stood there in silence for the next ten minutes, neither knew what to say to the other. Finally it was Eric that opened the Paradox's box.

"'H' I might not know what happen back there, but I know for a fact that some ugly things went down. You are only human and sometimes it might not seem like it. We all need help 'H'". Eric took a deep breath and continue, "I didn't realize I need it help after my head wound, but it got to the point where it was so bad that I couldn't function. 'H' I don't want to see you end up at that point…please, if not for yourself, for Ryan. Cuz hell knows he is going to need a lot of help."

Eric let out a breath and surprised that his support speech wasn't that bad. But Horatio didn't say anything back and that worried Eric.

"'H'…say something anything! As your friend, _your brother_, I want to help, but you got to let me know how."

Perhaps it was Eric's speech or his reference to the brother relationship or it might have been that Horatio Caine was simply exhausted from the events that occurred in the past 3 days. Whatever it was, a rare event occurred. Horatio turned to face Eric and his eyes were moistened with tears. Eric walked up and embraced his friend. Eric felt Horatio returning his embrace back and heard his friend whispered "I never felt so helpless."

Lieutenant Horatio Caine, the one that had answers to all the problems, the one that protected this city for years, and the one that could scare the gods of heaven and hell had just admitted his own vulnerability. Whatever happened in that house had shook Horatio.

They stay like this in a brotherly embraced. The contact was much needed therapy for Horatio.

"You know, you don't always have to face everything alone. You have us. We got your back." Eric encouraged

It was the truth, he was not alone. He had this team. Ryan was willing to die to protect his integrity and Eric dropped all his arrogance to open up to him. Really what more could he ask. His team was his greatest asset.

The embrace was broke up when Eric's phone ring.

"Yea, yea I found 'H' ok, we are coming." Eric hung up the phone and said "Ryan is out of the trauma room." Without saying anything else, both men rushed out of the chapel.

"Horatio!" Alex greeted them and the rest of the team stood up as the two friends came into view

"How is he?" Horatio asked.

"The doctors were able to stabilize him, but they are worried about infections." Alex regretfully answered.

'I want to see him." Horatio requested.

"You will. Ryan is heavily sedated. He needs the rest and so do you, Horatio." Alex interrupted Horatio's request. If anyone could stop Horatio Caine, it was Alex. "I promise I will call you if anything changes and you can come back tomorrow morning." Alex stepped forward and stared Horatio in the eyes. "Go home for now."

Horatio exhaled heavily and nodded his head in agreement. Calleigh volunteered to take him home and the rest of the team left for the day.

However, 20 minutes right after the team left, things did change. At first Alex didn't want to alarm Horatio, but after several unsuccessful attempts to calm Ryan down, Alex couldn't stand it anymore. Ryan was reacted violently to the doctors and nurses that were attending him. He screamed at no one in particular, but most of his words were muffled by the oxygen mask. Alex rushed in to calm Ryan; however, he didn't seem to recognize her. Ryan's eyes were filled with rage and emptiness. Although his struggles were weak, but he still managed to pull out the IVs and the heart monitor. He also managed to knock over a glass of water by his bed. Finally the doctors ordered restrains so that Ryan wouldn't hurt himself. It was a moment of great despair for Alex. It's one thing to do it on people she didn't know, but to watch someone that she knew so dearly was very difficult for her.

Alex stepped out the room and made the call to Horatio.

That night, Horatio, Alex and Calleigh each took turns to look after Ryan. Soon after Ryan was sedated, ice packs were ordered to cool the 105 degrees fever that seemed to be firing Ryan's brain.

* * *

**Speed**: "Are you a religious man?"

**Horatio**: "After a fashion."


	11. Chapter 10

A/N: Tissue chapter! I been rereading the chapters I posted and I apologize for the grammatical errors in them. Due to work and school, I usually write the stories after midnight.

Enjoy and again thank you for the reviews. It is the greatest gift to an author.

Chapter 10: 2:00 am…

The toxic report came back positive for cocaine. The needles that the men stabbed Ryan with must had been used to get high. The doctor estimated that it would take at least a day to flush the drug out of Ryan's system. The doctors hoped that Ryan was experiencing a brief psychotic disorder. The disorder usually is triggered by stressful events and Ryan's experience would certainly fall under this category. But with psychotic disorder it's hard to tell the long term effects and also Ryan had cocaine in him so complications were not out of the question.

Fever plus the cocaine caused Ryan to experience delusions during the night. Alex and Calleigh stayed with Ryan until Calleigh was way too tired to keep her eyes open. Alex took Calleigh home and promised to bring some coffee back for Horatio. Horatio never left Ryan's side even after doctors told him that Ryan most likely wouldn't recognize him. It didn't matter if Ryan recognized him or not, right now his child needed someone to comfort him.

A nurse walked in to dime the light at 2:00am. But Horatio didn't find any rest. He was composed and collected when Alex and Calleigh were here, but now his usual mask failed. As the nurse walked out the room, Horatio lifted his head and looked at the boy that slept before him.

Ryan breathed though the air mask and bathed in his own sweat. The fever had not increase, but it also didn't come down. Horatio would occasionally use a damped towel and wiped the sweat off Ryan's forehead. Ryan moaned irregularly and mumbled something incoherent as if he was hurting or something. The doctor provided a strong dose of morphine before Calleigh left, but with Ryan being in a stage like this; it was difficult for the doctor to draw any conclusion.

"Ryan, if you can hear me, please come back and I promise we will work through this together." Horatio whispered.

He barely said anything when Alex and Calleigh were here. His detachment sense was in place and he acted as if Ryan was just another victim. He sat by Calleigh and helped them switched the cooling packs.

Horatio held Ryan's hand and bowed his head against it.

"Ryan…Ryan, if you can hear me, please pull through." And then a sob escaped Horatio. "I made an agreement with god in the chapel, if one of us has to die, I told him to take me." Tears rolled down Horatio's face and onto Ryan's hand.

Alex stood outside, afraid to enter. Guilt washed over her as she realized she just caught Horatio Caine in a very private moment. She wanted to rush in and hug him tight, but that was not how Horatio Caine operated. The minute he realized there were people, he concealed all personal emotions. Maybe this was good for him; maybe talking to Ryan like that was his way of facing his own demons. Slowly Alex walked away.

Horatio felt Ryan's hand tighten the hold on his and immediately stood up. Ryan's mouth kept on moving under the oxygen mask, however, it was barely a whisper. Horatio carefully lifted the mask and leaned over to look at Ryan.

"Ryan…" Horatio said gently and his voice breaking.

There was no recognition in Ryan's eyes; however, he looked at Horatio with dazed stares and pleaded softly "please….dad… don't hit mommy anymore."

Horatio stared at Ryan and his hands shook violently. He gently placed the mask down and sunk into his chair. He had no idea how close Ryan's childhood mirrored that of his. He took a deep breath, looked away and wept openly for the first time in years. His right hand covered his sobs and his left still held on to Ryan's hand.

Hours later, Alex would find her former boss still holding onto the young CSI and with his head resting against Ryan's hand.

* * *

Jackson:" I know you hate it when I use a 100 words when a couple would do, but give us a call sometime.  
….Goodbye son."

Gibbs "Bye Dad".

-NCIS, (Heartland, Season 6.4)


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N: counting down now! One more chapter to go after this! Thank you for all the reviews. **

Chapter 11

1 week later…

Horatio left a day later and he didn't say anything to Alex. He just left.

Ryan recovered from his psychotic break during the mid-week and the fever finally broke after a day of plumping anti-biotic into him.

The doctors removed the restrains after assessing his mental state and they were optimistic about his recovery. They still needed to repair some internal damage but overall they were positive. However, to say Ryan was indifferent about everything was an understatement. He didn't say much after the psychotic break and usually his team found him staring at the ceiling or his hands. Everyone dropped by during the weekend and filled Ryan's room with flowers, balloons and get-well cards. However, Ryan never saw Horatio.

He asked about Horatio every day, but Alex kept telling him Horatio was fine and was also recovering from the experience and unable to see him. Ryan even asked to be wheeled to Horatio's room, but Alex flat out refused because Ryan's condition.

By the end of the week, Ryan believed Horatio was killed.

"You don't have to lie to me, Alex. I can take it." Ryan suddenly burst out.

"What baby?" Alex asked.

"He is dead, isn't he?" Ryan questioned softly and tears clouded his eyes.

Alex stopped what she was doing and paused to think about what Ryan was talking about and then she realized it.

"No baby, off-course not, Horatio is fine. He's just dealing with something right now." Alex answered and walked over to Ryan's bed.

"You don't have to say that. I am not a kid. People die." Ryan stared at Alex and wanted her to tell him the truth so bad.

"Honey, Horatio stayed with you the first day you were in here and I think he's blaming himself for what happen and doesn't think he can face you. Trust me baby, he is fine physically." Alex said and held Ryan's hands that were wrapped in white bandages.

'I…I…I just want to know..if he is…if he isn't died, then why….why…did he leave me alone…" Ryan sobbed inaudibly and tears fell down to Alex's hands.

"Oh baby, this has nothing to do with you, Horatio is just dealing with something right now, he will be back. " Alex smoothed Ryan.

"He promised Alex, He promised! But they never keep their promises!! He is just like him!, Just like him!!" Ryan was now shouting and that drew the attention of the nurses outside his room. They rushed in to see what their patient was fussing over.

"Oh Ryan, is ok, is ok, I am here, is ok baby, I know Horatio, he will be back." Alex silently signaled the nurses to sedate Ryan. A nurse nodded her head and added something into the IV drops.

"He promised…"Ryan whispered and within a minute his eyes slowly drifted shut.

Alex exited the room, pulled out her phone and dialed.

"Someone NEED to find Horatio Caine and tell him to get his butt to the hospital. I don't care how, I don't care who do it, just get him here or else I will bring him in a body bag!" Alex threatened and hung up her phone. _For heaven's sake, Horatio Caine, what are you doing! This child needs you right now._

* * *

"As crime scene investigators, we meet people on the worst day of their lives. They've just lost a family member. Somebody they loved. Often, in a horrible way. A piece of their heart is gone and will never be replaced. The phrase we're trained to offer them, 'I'm sorry for your loss', as we know now doesn't offer much…" – Grissom's eulogy.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Last chapter! Horatio did something really out of character in the last chapter. But I feel like after going through the experiment, anyone would want to escape or get away.

Thank you for all the reviews and I can't wait to post my next story!

Final Chapter: Aisoku: Beloved Son, _Ryan_

Horatio sat in JFK airport and stared at the passing people. He did something very out of character. He took a week off to visit New York. He didn't know why, but he purchased a ticket and flew back. He left this city after being stabbed on the job. It was a case that followed him all the way to Miami. He watched as a young couple hugged each other good bye. He stared at a mother saying good bye to her two children. He turned to the sound of a crying girl as she kissed her boyfriend. Horatio Caine certainly had said a lot of good bye in his days and that included his brother, his wife, his co-friend, his mentor, and his parent. It was all permanent goodbyes.

His mother was his angel, his father was the devil. It was his mother that he tried so hard to protect and failed. In the end, he became the murderer that took a life.

"Aisoku!"

Horatio turned his head and saw a young boy standing in front of him.

"Aisoku!" The young boy said again.

Horatio smiled at the boy and whispered the word back to him even though he had no idea what the child was talking about.

"It means beloved son." A woman said and walked over to pick up the boy.

"Excuse me?" Horatio asked and looked at the woman.

"It means beloved son in Japanese. I have been saying that to my son so that he knows he is loved." The woman answered.

"It sounds very pretty." Horatio smiled at the woman.

"My parent told me that if I keep saying that to my child and later in life when he is not with me and I say it to the wind, the wind will carry that to him so that no matter where he goes, he knows that he is loved." The woman explained.

Horatio nodded to the woman's explanation. Although it sounds a little strange to him, it's her culture and worth respecting.

"Do you have an Aisoku?" The woman asked.

"What?" Horatio totally confused by her question.

"A beloved son? Do you have someone that you considered an Aisoku?"

"_Ryan…"_

'I have to go ma'am." Horatio immediately picked up his bags and started to walk to the gates. He turned around and smiled at the woman "Thank you."

"Aisoku!" The child cheerfully yelled at Horatio again as he walked through gate to board the plane back to Miami.

* * *

The minute the plane landed in Miami, Horatio took out his cell phone and called Eric.

"Eric, I am heading to the hospital to see Ryan and tell the judge, I want to seek maximum sentences on Kevin's helpers. Every single one of them!"

Retribution was going to gratifying and not because Horatio enjoyed it, but because it sends a message out, you don't mess with Horatio Caine's team.

* * *

"Ryan…"

It was the voice of Horatio that Ryan woke up to the next day. Horatio held Ryan's battled hands and smiled apologetically at him. Ryan let go off the breath that he didn't know he was holding and whispered tenderly "you are ok, that is all that matters…"

And there under the daylight, Horatio Caine gently embraced his young CSI, Ryan Wolfe. Ryan tightly grabbed hold of Horatio and there not a word was needed to express the parental love Caine had for his child.

"Ryan, I will never forget my promise to you, I am here."

* * *

_**FIN**_

_A/N:_The idea about Aisoku that you read is fictional, but the word does mean beloved son in Japanese.

4/1/2010

Roughly 12474 words later, my story about Horatio Caine and Ryan Wolfe is completed. Although I would like to polish some details about Horatio Caine and his journey in facing his own demons, I thought this situation kind opens him up a little and shows that he is after all a human. I hope all my readers have enjoyed my story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. It was certainly a journey for me to finish it! Thank you to everyone that review and read my story. It's a writer's privilege to write and have so many readers that enjoy. I can't thank all of you enough.

Until next story! Remember to watch CSI: Miami.

Disclaimer: No profit is gain from this story.


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